Free Umbrellas
The sunny Chicago sky that first greeted me when I left my apartment had suddenly been replaced by a storm of biblical proportions and I was now stuck at my El stop without an umbrella. I could either wait it out at the station and get to work late or slog through the downpour and get there on time looking like a drowned cat. Neither was appealing. I was about to flip a coin to decide my course of action when a brilliant idea popped into my head. I rushed over to the attendant’s booth and, in less than a minute, walked away with a free umbrella. I soon arrived at work warm, dry and early enough to score a bagel.
What was the brilliant idea that kept me from getting drenched? Paying a visit to Lost & Found! Almost every public location has an L&F and they only hold onto items for a short amount of time (unclaimed stuff is usually donated to charities), so the chance of a real owner reclaiming something is about 0.3 %.* Tell L&F that you left your umbrella on the train or on a counter or in the bathroom or wherever and, if asked, say it’s black and compact. Since this describes 90% of umbrellas, you’ll almost always get a match. When you see one, don’t hesitate! Just grab it and claim it as your own. Sweet score, eh?
And before you start feeling guilty, just remember: Umbrellas are pretty much considered a disposable item.** So find a homeless person, give ‘em a dollar and tell your conscience to shut the fuck up.
